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First thing in the morning I received the call from the surgeon saying Chloe was doing well and was comfortable. Today we would be allowed to come see her.

Upon ariving at the hospital I saw Chloe for the first time with her pressure banadage on. She is pretty Well medicated and in a nice run with blankets.

It a sight that is hard to witness and accept. It was real it actually happened and she was missing a part of her that was meant to be permanent.

The guilt of not being protective enough, not making sure the world was safe enough. The guilt of being selfish the guilt of making the wrong choice is thick and heavy weighing me down. From here on I have to live with the concept that I made the wrong choice and I should have had them attempt the repair so she could keep her leg. Even though I will never know it will always be on my mind that I made the wrong choice.

Meeting with the surgeon after she says that the bone was bad and she was certain that it would not have held up and the bone would never have healed. Even hearing this I don’t believe I made the right choice but that’s in me and my mind and my guilt.

I keep hearing the same thing about how dogs are all made with a extra leg and am constantly infuriated by this. She was born with 4 legs because she was supposed to have 4. If she was meant to be a 3 legged creature she would have been born with 3. She is 8 years old and I guarantee never once did she look down and say I only need three legs this one is extra.

Tommrow Chloe comes home in the evening.So I will head to work in the morning and leave early to go bring her home

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3 Responses to “July 18th facing the amputation”

  1. kazann said:

    I’m sorry to hear about Chloe’s accident that required her amputation. My cat had her leg amputated 3 years ago and I don’t believe she ever wondered where he leg went and she never looked for an explanation. She has continued to be a happy cat and still does what cats do – jump, sleep, play, sleep, cuddle, sleep, eat, sleep… The only difference I notice in her is that she is braver, has become a protector of my male cat and likes to sleep outside on the porch until I bring her in at night.

    There are many wonderful stories here of dogs continuing to go for walks, hikes, swim and even participate in agility and sport competitions. It’s humans who get hung up on the past. Our pets live in the moment and choose to live life to the fullest. I hope you can let your guilt go and accept you made the best decision you could at the time. Put that guilt energy into assisting Chloe in her healing and rehabilitation. She is going to amaze you!!


  2. misterrustybucket said:

    I’m sorry that you are struggling with your decision. If I had been in your place and heard the opinions of the vets and read about the complications that a lot of dogs have with trying to save a leg that in many cases results in a second surgery to amputate, I would have made the same decision. I know the amputation is upsetting for you but I really don’t believe that dogs process the idea the same way. Chloe is only concerned with where you are and if you are happy with her, where her food is and when she can come home. Dogs don’t have any stigmas or regrets. I hope that you can forgive yourself for things beyond your control and just know that Chloe loves you and will love her life with you just as she did before. She is in no way less than she was with four legs she just has to do some things differently. I’ve known several people who lost an arm or leg and they have to make some adjustments to things like driving or clothing or opening a jar but there is no way that their life wasn’t every bit as meaningful to themselves and everyone who loved them and the same will be true for Chloe. I truly believe that.
    My dog Rusty is 2.5 mos post amp and he is doing great. Does he lose his balance sometimes? Yes. Does he take shorter walks? Yes. Does it take less time to clip his nails? Yes. Does he come twirl around and bark at me for treats? Yes. Does he snuggle with me and ask for belly rubs? Yes. Does he stalk the robins in the yard? Yes. Would I trade a single day with my tripawd? No way!
    I wish you and Chloe a speedy recovery. It’s a rough couple first weeks but it GETS BETTER! You can do this, you are stronger than you know.
    ❤️Amy & Rusty

  3. jerry said:

    We felt the same way, I promise. But in time you will absolutely see that it was the best decision to help her feel better. Your brain just needs time to work it out but you’ll get there. Hang tight and lean on us OK? We’re here to help.

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